The Haunting
by LoveTheVoid
Summary: Neji,Sasuke,Gaara,and Naruto get stuck/traped in a haunted house.Will Neji get over his gorgeous self?Sasuke and an Emo Raping Cedar chest? WTF!What's with Naruto?And Gaara?Some ones behind this weirdness.But who? Lots of RANDOMNESS!-UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1. The House

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Naruto…

**Kagura: All the characters in this story may result in MAJOR OOCness…There can and will be blood, serious hilarity, (eventual) sex *rotflhao*, nothing that makes sense, drugs, and VIOLENCE!!!! YAAAAY VIOLENCE!!!!! And don't forget the rabies!!!!**

**Sakunari: Revised and Redone on most parts so… Don't be scared. Everyone will be in for a surprise. But first…WTH is going to happen? So many things are bound to go wrong. Major OOCness and ADDness…and yes it is funny. Even more so if read out loud lmao. So read and review! Hope you all enjoy!**

**The Haunting**

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Chapter 1

"Hey Sasuke go in first! You can handle the situation a bit better…." Neji hedged staring at the creepy building.

"Uh… That's okay…you can go first," said Sasuke.

"No, you go first! It was that blonde brats' idea anyway!" Neji exclaimed.

"So? We all agreed to this little dare and you got here first. So you can go inside!" Sasuke stated.

"But you're the one with the awkward hairdo!"

"So? I can't help it if my hair is naturally amazing." Sasuke flipped his hair. "And since my hair is so much better than yours you can go in first!"

"But I told you to first!"

"I don't care." Sasuke smirked slyly and put on a nervous face. "Besides Neji you are much braver with this creepy stuff…I'm…not" He looked to the side watching the Hyuga's expression.

"…b-but…yea…I guess so…" Neji looked a little guilty.

Sasuke smirked. "Then why don't you go inside first?"

The longhaired boy blinked, thinking hard.

"… Because… I… have… this… um… this terrible backache" said Neji holding his back in a very pain like way.

"And I've been having these weird stomach cramps, and every time I go to the bathroom I see blood. I think I'm on my period?"

"… DUDE! You're a GUY! How the Hell can you have a period!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"HEY! How can you prove that I'm not a chick? Huh? What about my loooong shiny hair, my girrrrrlish features… the way I scream… and maybe even the way I run… What about those, huh? WHAT ABOUT THOSE!?" Neji said making a clawed pawing motion at the air and hissed.

"Neji if you were a chick…. and Naruto… I would be doing the both you right now… maybe even Gaara too…" Sasuke replied staring into space grinning weirdly.

Neji put a poor innocent tree between him and Sasuke and stood there staring at the raven with a WTF look on his face. 'Could he seriously do that?! …Well…maybe he would…after all his last name IS Uchiha… and man his brother is a perv!' Neji flinched, feeling even more creeped out by where his thoughts were heading,

"What?" Sasuke asked puzzled slightly as he looked at the Hyuga up and down, grinning, his thoughts _clearly_ elsewhere.

At this Neji thought… 'Screw the hormonal crap, I'm going in!' He dived towards the building still feeling Sasuke's eyes on him.

Neji ran and Sasuke sweat dropped when he saw the Hyuga bust through the door shouting "DIVE-DIVE-DIVE!!!!"

When Neji disappeared into the house, Sasuke walked quickly towards the building also, not wanting to be left alone. "I think we should wait for red and the noob inside!"

**-Ten Minutes Later- **

BAM BAM

Sasuke flinched and looked up with a start "…Bambam!?" Sasuke looked around the room, but was smacked upside the head by Neji.

"This is NOT the Flintstone's stupid…it's the door…"

Sasuke blinked rubbing his head. "…Oh…go answer it…"

Neji looked at him eyes wide and whispered furiously. "I'm not going to open the door! It could be a crazed maniac!"

Sasuke sighed. "Fine" he headed towards the door but--

The door crashed open, causing the pair of ninja inside, who were still in a creepy room that was encased in shadows, to jump and shriek like little girls.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late! I had to obey an evil twitching squirrel or he was going to steal my nuts," said Naruto grinning as he ran into the old house.

Neji and Sasuke stared breathing hard from the scare, "…nuts?" They blushed lightly.

Naruto growled. "Come on I mean it as in food!" he whined while giving Sasuke and Neji a look that told them clearly to get rid of any fantasies they were having about _nuts_ at that moment.

Neji and Sasuke glanced at each other still blushing then looked away quickly.

They blushed even harder when they accidentally looked at the blonde again and glanced down while doing so.

"Okay…anyways… is Gaara here yet?" Naruto asked pulling his orange coat tighter around himself.

"Hphm! Red? I haven't seen him since this morning! I'm beginning to think he's a chicken…" said Neji with a little bit more relaxed grin slouching against the door frame. "What a loser…"

"**HYUGA! Ten HUT**!" A deep commanding voice growled behind him.

Neji jumped as the voice was accompanied by the sound of unsheathing metal.

"SIR!" Neji snapped into a ramrod straight position holding a hand to his head in a salute. "What can I do for you SIR!"

"…Get on your knees and be my bitch…"

"YES S-S-S-S-S-I- W-W-WHAT!?" Neji spun around quickly and almost fell over when he spotted an evilly grinning redhead behind him, holding up a machete. "GAARA!?! You scared the living shit out of me!!"

Gaara blinked. "So? Do it."

Neji grinned and took a step back. "You're good! You should become a general or one of those creepy dungeon guys who skin their victim's alive right after they eat their eyeballs!"

"Hyuga! Quit trying to get out of it!"

"I-I wasn't…wait…get out of what?"

"You called me a loser and a chicken didn't you? Now I want revenge. So do Exactly as I said Hyuga, 'Get on you knees and be my bitch!'" Gaara said calmly, pointing at the floor. "Do it!"

Neji flushed but stared him up and down and seemed to think it over, which made Gaara blink and take a step away from him while putting away the machete quickly.

It was then that Neji glanced over to see Sasuke and Naruto hugging each other with tears running down their cheeks, faces beet red, as they seemingly tried to hold in their laughter.

When they saw Neji and Gaara staring at them with straight faces, they couldn't take it anymore and bust out laughing.

"KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! N-NEJI I C-CAN'T B-BELIE-VE YOU F-FELL FOR T-THAT!! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! **AND YOU WERE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT TOO!!!**" Naruto tried gasping for air, but that only made him laugh harder and roll on the floor holding his sides.

"KYAHAHAHA Y-YOUR T-THE L-LOSER N-NOW NEJI! HAHAHAHA N-N-N-NOW D-DO A-AS HE S-SAID!! KYAHAHAHA B-BEFORE I E-EXPLODE!!! KYAHAHAHA!!! **I HAVE TO SEE THIS!!!!**" Sasuke grabbed Naruto as they were laughing and they tried to pull each other up.

"NEVER!!!" Neji blushed brightly. "I-**I HOPE YOU TWO CHOKE**!!!!!" He hissed and grabbed Gaara by the arm but stopped when Gaara looked at him grinning at his comment, he blushed brighter.

Gaara stared until Neji looked away. "Let's get away from these idiots and finish this dare!" Neji muttered pulling him around the gasping two on the floor who managed to get their feet under them.

As they started towards the other door, Sasuke and Naruto were able to finish standing and followed, though they still chuckled slightly still thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Just as Naruto opened his mouth to say something else his words were choked back in fear at what they all saw in the next room.

The house was apparently a very, very, very old house covered with rickety floorboards, dusty furniture covered with white sheets, rusty chandelier chains, a large, infestation of rats, cockroaches who played poker in a corner opposite the rats, and huge, fist sized termites were seen everywhere.

The boys shivered as they walked in feeling the lonely, abandoned, "All Ye Who Enter Here, will die at my will," atmosphere.

(The house looked like no sign of life had been in it for a very long time, on top of all the things wrong with the incredibly old house it was haunted by several ghosts from the family that used to live there many, many years ago. When the house used to belong to a very wealthy family in Konoha until on a dark moonless night, smothered with rain clouds, did the family just up and disappeared. Or so it was said.

Some say that the family might still be in the house. Some even say that the family was hacked up by homicidal maniacs that escaped from the insane asylum because they took people away because they killed little kids and rape them before decapitating them and hang their lifeless headless bodies from the chandelier and laughing manically as they drank their blood straight from their severed heads.) 

"This place looks like where a homicidal manic like Gaara might live" said Neji as he looked all around the room.

Gaara glared evilly and grinned. "Tehe…"

"…" *Silence in the peanut gallery*

-----------**Five minutes later**------------

Naruto was officially bored…even if he was scared.

"Hey guys!"

"Naruto shut up," growled Sasuke.

"No. Listen! I wonder if this place echoes!!!"

"…Good question…. and stupid…this place is old, and eerie. It has to echo." Neji said.

"Let's find out." Gaara smirked evilly looking at Naruto.

Naruto grinned, cupped his hands over his mouth, turned towards a random hallway and shouted, "**I'M AGENT ORANGE AND YOUR WALLPAPER SUCKS**!"

Naruto's voice boomed back at them.

"**YEAH? WELL YOUR COLOR BLIND**!!!!"

All three jumped and looked at a petrified Naruto who's eyes were wide and his hands were still cupped around his mouth.

"Holy crap! That was amazing Naruto! I didn't know you were a ventriloquist!" said Neji in awe.

"Yea Dobe you can actually put that loud mouth of your to better use!" Sasuke stated also in awe.

"Um…guys?" The boys stared at him, not liking this one bit. "…I'm not a ventriloquist…" Naruto replied looking back at Neji with fear in his eyes.

"That wasn't me…and…I don't even know what a ventriloquist is…"

"…Then who…" Gaara started but was cut off.

A loud malicious laugh sounded through the halls of the old house making dust fall from the ceiling and make the old rafters groan.

"W-what w-was t-that?" Sasuke screamed, latching onto Naruto who latched onto Gaara who latched onto Neji who latched on to Sasuke.

After a few seconds of eerie silence Gaara tried to shake the cowering Naruto off his leg but he clung onto him like a frightened cat with very sharp claws digging into his pants leg.

"GET OFF ME IDIOT!!!" Gaara growled.

"NO! Don't let them get me! No, I don't wanna be hung from a chandelier waiting for the homicidal manic to drink my blood from my skull!!!" Naruto pleaded continuously.

Sasuke let Naruto go to get hurt by Gaara and turned onto Neji who hugged him hard as the walls rattled.

Gaara finally got Naruto off by kicking him in the face "GET OFF OF ME!" Gaara snapped.

"Great! Now I smell like ramen and I believe some of your idiotism has now rubbed off on me!!!!" Gaara said smelling his shirt, while wrinkling his nose.

Neji and Sasuke were currently in a comfortable position of rubbing each other's cheek with theirs and stroking each other's hair.

"Uh guys," said Naruto as he sweat dropped when he saw what they were doing.

"Leave them be Naruto if they want to be their gay selves and get into each other's pants let them" said Gaara turning away.

"WE ARE **NOT **GAY!!" they both shouted looking offended, but stood there blushing staring at each other after reluctantly separating.

"Oh yeah? then why do I have this picture of you two in Cancun kissing each other during spring break?" said Gaara flipping open his wallet and showing them "did I also mention that you two did get into each other's pants already?"

Sasuke blushed bright red and stared at the picture Gaara held out. "I WAS DRUNK DAMNIT!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE LOOKS LIKE A GIRL!!!"

"I may look like a girl but that doesn't mean I am one!" Neji replied.

"Besides! I would have stopped when I realized you were a guy!"

"Then why didn't you?"

"I... I... I-I WAS DRUNK!!!!"

"Huh… well then no wonder my ass hurt so much…" Neji wondered aloud turning to look at his bottom.

"I don't want know that!!" Sasuke exclaimed, covering his ears.

Naruto walked into a room his only thought was 'maybe I should have brought more ramen?'

A few seconds later a sudden girlish scream sounded out through the deserted halls.

"Neji…did you just scream like a five year old girl?" Sasuke looked pointedly at the brunette.

"NO!" Neji exclaimed insulted.

"Then who?" Sasuke thought for a second and his mind trailed to the blonde idiot.

"Naruto…" Sasuke seethed through gritted teeth.

"Naruto…you better not be playing a joke on us, cuz if you are I will literally beat the living crap out of you." Sasuke growled as he followed the girlish scream to find a petrified Naruto clinging to the ceiling frightened.

"I-I-I t-thought I saw a ghost… but it was only a sheet covered over a chair"

"IDIOT!!! IT'S NOT THE TIME TO BE DOING STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT!!" shouted Neji and Sasuke.

"But it scared me and it looked like a ghost ready to rip my soul out" Naruto whined a teary puppy-dog stare took hold of his face.

Suddenly the walls and the floors started groaning under their weight, then the floorboards started to rattle uncontrollably sickly greenish light shined through the floor gapping upwards as the three stared in awe as the floor became more and more violent as it thrashed about.

Then the floor burst open and dropped each ninja into different rooms of the old house.

Naruto landed hard on his head in the biggest kitchen he had ever seen in his one-tracked minded life.

Sasuke was lost in a very long corridor that seemed to have no end.

Neji landed in a gorgeous decked out bathroom.

And what the hell? What ever happened to Gaara? Hell if we know…

696969696969696969696969696-_______*MOO*_______-

**-With Naruto-**

"OMFG this is the biggest kitchen that I ever saw in my one-tracked minded life!" Naruto shouted as he could barely hold his happiness in.

"I wonder if they have…?" Naruto started as he opened up the cupboards. Naruto had his very breath taken away the most beautiful thing that ever crossed his vision was right in front of him on a silver jewel encrusted platter. Ramen and tons of it.

"I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!" he shouted as the dropped to his knees and started saying heart-melting prayer.

"Ramen Lord, I know you're a very, very, very, very, veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery busy spiritual entity, but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH MORE THAN well not more than ramen itself BUT I LOVE YOU!!"

As he tried to take the very first box off the silver jewel encrusted platter he realized that the sacred ramen could **NOT!** Be touched by mortal hands.

"NO FAIR!!! How come I can't touch it?! HEY YOU SPIRITUAL PIECE OF SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS! I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL YOU WOULD GIVE ME RAMEN ON A SILVER JEWEL ENCRUSTED PLATTER AND I WOULDN'T SHOW THOSE PICTURES OF YOU WITH ANOTHER CHICK! YOU WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOUR REP NOW WOULD YOU!?" Naruto shouted but as he tried to reach for the sacred ramen again the floor caved in and he plummeted down, down, down and…. down to a very, very dark room in the middle of the room was a dimly lit light bulb.

The blonde stared in a mesmerized trance at the dimly light and as if the light floated in mid-air the blonde still in a trance stepped towards the light.

The blonde now drooling down at the light placed his hands around the only supply of warmth.

"A.D.D… kicking in… must touch…. the light…." Naruto said as his A.D.D kicked in.

"(Sniff, sniff) hmm I smell something. Smells like burning flesh" Naruto pondered as he continued to sniff the flesh burning air.

"Ahhhhh the light it burns us!" Naruto shouted

"Let go of the light bulb stupid," growled a low-toned demonic voice.

69696969696969696969696969-__________*MEOW*_____________-6969696969696969696969

**-With Sasuke- **

"Stupid house, stupid hallway, stupid floorboards, stupid spirits, stupid spiders, stupid creepy portraits who's eyes are following my every move, stupid Neji, DAMN YOU TOMTOM WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU!!!!" Sasuke cursed as he walked down the hallway, apparently lost.

He turned down a narrow hallway and started opening random doors. "Empty…empty…torture chamber…memorize location for later…empty…room full of plotting squirrels…what the hell?" Sasuke shook his head and sweat dropped when a few started after him with a skewer and plate.

Running down the hall and around the next corner he continued opening doors. "Empty…also empty…indoor theatre…empty…………indoor beach…? What are they coming up with these days?"

He continued on.

"Empty…bar…pool…circus…zombies…Deidara and Tobi making out…uh anyway…another torture chamber…male strip---!!! HUH!?!" He looked up and down the hall, and seeing nothing, started to reopen the last door but stopped himself with a smack on the face.

"NO! Bad! I don't know how they got here but I can always come back later…but first I need to find the guys!" He told himself and made himself walk to the very end of the hall and turn down another corridor.

Soon he saw an old wooden door that was very different from the doors he last opened. Making sure no one unwanted followed him, he opened the door as stealthily as the ninja that he was could.

As he peered into the room he saw that it was very quite empty and it looked like an ordinary bedroom except for a suspicious cedar chest that looked well…very suspicious.

Sasuke face palmed. "I knew I should have bought that damned TOMTOM! Damn Me and my video game obsession!!"

Sasuke glared at the chest and bent down and tried to pry open the secretive chest that held secretive of all secretive secrets.

It popped open. "…I thought these things locked?"

"MAMA!!!" A very deep childish demonic booming voice came out of nowhere.

"GYAH!!!!" Sasuke yelled dropping the metal pipe that appeared next to him to use in defense of…well…whatever was to be defensive about…it slipped from his hand on to his toes.. "OW! GOD DAMN MOTHER FU---" "He hopped around on one foot trying to sooth the pain of the other and lost his balance and instead of falling on the floor the chest moved, bumping into his legs and made him fall into it closing and teleporting him to places unknown.

**Later**

Awakening in a deep dark middle of nowhere place, Sasuke sat up and rubbed his head. "Ow…damn… where am I?"

"You are STUCK IN ME!!!" The demonic voice shouted and a cedar chest appeared in front of Sasuke from out of nowhere.

Sasuke blinked at the abnormal appearance then cringed. "Eww! Why do you have to say it like that?!"

**-Twenty Minutes later-**

"And that's why you never do drugs," sobbed the chest.

"Ahhh that sucks" Sasuke comforted the chest person who he found was named Steve. "Now can you let me out please?"

"NEVER BITCH!" Steve replied.

"Please?"

"HELL NO!!!!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE I'M IN CHARGE HERE AND WHAT I SAY GOES!!!" Steve exclaimed.

"But WHYYYY?!?!" Sasuke whined

"Because that's why now shut up bitch or you'll never see the light of day again"

"(Sniffles) meanie"

"…"

"Hey Steve?"

"THAT'S THE ALMIGHTY AND POWERFULLY HORNY STEVE TO YOU MINON!"

"I was wondering your not the type of cedar chest that rapes little emo ninja's are you?" Sasuke asked cowering in the corner away from the almighty and powerfully horny Steve.

"…."

"Steve…?"

"…………………."

" Steve? …ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!!!"

"………(Smirks)"

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I DON'T WANNA BE RAPED BY A HORNY CEDAR CHEST!!!" Sasuke shouted trying to escape from the little emo ninja-raping chest.

"I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!!!" Sasuke begged.

"…No"

"I'LL GIVE YOU A MUFFIN!!!!"

"………. Maybe…"

"FINE!" Sasuke shouted at last. "I'LL POLISH YOU TO YOUR LIKING!!!"

"Well… the polish sounds nice…and I do love muffins…" Steve shouted angrily.

Sasuke sighed. "Fine… if you let me go…FOREVER… I will polish the chest you're stuck to and be on my way!" He said nervously.

"…"

"Steve?"

"… Okay I'll do it. But on one condition…"

69696969696969696969696969-_________*BARK*___________-6969696969699696969696969

**-With Neji-**

"OMFG! I can even see myself in the tiling!! Its sooooooooooo clean in here. I LOVE THIS PLACE I'M NEVER GOING TO LEAVE!!!" Neji said in awe.

Walking up to the mirror he screamed. "OH MY GOD I LOOK HORRIBLE!!!!" Catching his breath he slowly looked again.

"Oh no… here's the problem!" He reached up to his forehead and very carefully put the loose strand of hair back in place. "There! NOW I LOOK HOT!!!!" He shouted giving himself thumbs up in the mirror.

"You sure do! But, what about me?" A voice said.

Shrieking in shock Neji looked into the mirror. Seeing only his reflection he sighed. "I must be hearing things… but I'm still hot!!!"

"Wha-?" For a second he thought he saw his reflection move of its own accord. But just shook his head. "I'm still a little dizzy from the warp thingy so it's all in my head…" He said out loud trying to comfort himself.

"No… you're quite alright!" The cheerful voice came again. This time Neji looked into the mirror at his reflection.

"Are… y-you t-talking to m-me?" He stuttered pointing at his reflection as it did the same to him.

"Yeah, who the hell else would I be talking too the fucking wall? Or do you just want me to talk to your Momma who only watches Internet porn because she can't get any!?!" Neji's reflection snapped, Neji stared in an awed, shocked like stare; his eyes were fixed towards the image of his hot self.

"What the hell is this witchcraft? HOW the hell are you talking to me!? **AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY POOR DECEASED MOTHER YOU PEDOPHILE!!!!**" Neji shouted. "Now…TELL ME… HOW… I GOT HERE!"

His reflection sighed, shoulders sagging. "Allow me to put this in a simple, yet sophisticated way" the reflection replied

**-Ten Minutes Later-**

"Oohhhh I see now… No wait, I still don't know what the hell you said" said Neji, he shook his head and glanced around the bathroom.

"OMG you really are stupid aren't you?"

"Are you my conscience?" said Neji blinked.

"No… but let's go with that," replied his reflection,

"Okay…if you're my conscious I thought you would be a cricket or something…"

"This isn't Pinocchio," grumbled the reflection.

"Alight, then but can you answer this question…"

"What?"

"Do you know why I bleed?"

OoO"""

"Reflection of beautiful me?"

"…OxO""""…"

"Hello? Anybody home?" Neji said as he tapped on the mirror.

"Sigh…this is going to take a while" sweat dropped the mirrored image of the Hyuga.

-**????-**

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

"What the hell is this shit…?" Green eyes blinked.

* * *

(END…never mind DON'T KILL US!!!…See Ya Next Chapter…)


	2. OMFG! wth!

**Kagura/Sakunari: **We don't own Sasuke or any other character…but we do have a lease on Neji…which expires in a month so we need to get his (coughunwillingcough) cooperation in the admission for another lease from the government…well…actually…Masashi Kishimoto…but we lovers them all the same =^-^=

Read and Review! ^-^

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_**Chapter 2**_

The Chest

**-With Naruto…**T.T'**-**

*Currently surrounded by soul sucking penguins* *somehow escapes with ramen lord*

**-With Neji…Again-**

"SAY IT AGAIN!!!!" Neji begged the mirror and his "reflection". "PLEASE!!"

"… Ramen…" His very unhappy looking reflection said slowly, playing with his hair.

Neji grinned very much like our favorite blonde and started to jump up and down over and over again, twirling around in circles.

"Say it again reflection person! And again and again and again and again and-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING LITTLE FRUIT TARD!!!!"

O.O'''

-__-X

"Hey! I am NOT a pop tart thank you very much…I am TOASTER STRUDEL!!!!" He cried.

His refection sweat dropped. "Ummm Babe? You scare me… but right now you're irritating me to no end and if you don't quit ill shank you in your sleep…"

Neji blinked his tears back. "…Point well taken… I WILL TAKE YOUR ADVICE!!" He struck a very… Lee-like pose… (O.O|||)

Reflection Neji stepped back.

**-With Sasuke-**

"Okay…so …what am I doing again?" said Sasuke confusedly.

"Remember what you said last chapter?" replied Steve.

"No…not… really…."said Sasuke in deep thought.

**-OMGITSAFLASHBACK-**

"FINE!" Sasuke shouted at last. "IF YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TOO!!!!

"Hmm okay… a polish sounds nice…" Steve shouted angrily.

Sasuke sighed. "Fine… if you let me go…FOREVER… I will polish the chest you're… stuck to and be on my way!" He said nervously.

"…"

"Steve?"

"…Hmm…"

"Oh come on!"

"… Okay I'll do it. But on one condition…"

**-Aw No More Flashback *cries*-**

"Oh yeah… now I do…but seriously… do I really have to BE in my boxers WHILE I'm doing this?!" Sasuke exclaimed as he said was in his ass hugging, black with pink hearts, boxers.

"Yes… now polish harder bitch…" Steve growled.

Sasuke flinched and immediately started to do what he was told, cursing all the while.

"Oh yeah deeper, deeper, to the left a little." Steve groaned. "Ahhhh… right there. That was perfect…ya know you should be a furniture polisher you know that?" said Steve, deeply relaxed.

"So this is what the last of the Uchiha clan has been demoted too?" Sasuke muttered. "Polishing little emo ninja raping cedar chests?" He said pitifully as he continued to polish Steve as tears started to bubble up from the corners of his eyes.

He sat down where he stood in front of Steve and threw his head back.

"I WANNA GO HOME!!! STUPID NEJI!!! WHY DID HE HAVE TO BET ME THAT I WOULD GO INTO THIS **STUPID **HAUNTED HOUSE!?!" he shouted tears now pouring down the sides of his cheeks.

"…-.-'…" Steve sighed.

"PLEASE LET ME GO!!!" Sasuke cried again.

"NO DAMNIT! Not until your done here… oooh yeahhh…" Steve sighed as Sasuke tried to work out his frustration on the chest by spraying on a whole bunch of the seemingly never-ending pledge. "Harder… harder… Harder… HARDER…. HARDER DAMNIT HARDER!!!"

**-Poof-**

Smoke

Smoke

Smoke

Clear

Clear

Cle-WTFH!

Sasuke jumped back in shock and dropped the pledge and rag, which disappeared before it even got near the floor.

The chest named Steve disappeared in a puff of smoke and in its place stood a very, VERY hot…black and red kimono dressed …woman?

Sasuke shuddered, as she kind of looked like that snake pedophile Orochimaru; only without the excessive makeup and unnaturally white skin.

The dark room disappeared and all of a sudden Sasuke was back where he first met… Steve.

Sasuke couldn't take everything in at once…"W-what?!? What happened to Steve the Chest and WHO ARE YOU!!!" He blinked frozen in place looking her up and down then also around the room.

"Wha-?" The unknown woman said, running hands up and down her body, as though she couldn't believe she was actually there.

She looked from Sasuke to the darkness of her surroundings.

"…Hello? Steve? Ever hear of him? Big cedar chest possessed by his emo raping soul?" Sasuke stuttered angrily, though he was glad to be away from him at that moment…maybe this woman could help him escape?

Her voice was deep but still very feminine. "What happened…I'm back in my original body…but how?"

She stopped and took a deep breath.

"…" Sasuke stared.

"Wow! I haven't breathed in a LONG time." She stated.

"Who ARE you woman!" He stopped and thought a sec when he realized she didn't hear a word he said. "What did you do to Steve!"

She blinked and turned to him, with a Very pissed off Sakura look. "Don't call me woman… and, I. **AM.** STEVE…well I was…I hate the long hair but at least I'm still a guy…" he said, pulling his kimono out a little bit and quietly looked down at his body.

"**WHAT!?!" **He screamed twitching uncontrollably.

Still looking pissed Steve casually swayed his hips as he stalked towards Sasuke giving off another of those creepy Orochimaru vibes, "… Hey...Suke-chan…"

"S-shit…" He twitched again backing away and ran for the door, effectively blocked Steve's chances of getting to it before him, who just grinned and started fiddling with the kimonos belt.

The door was locked.

"NO!" Sasuke started to jiggle the door trying to pry it open, and went for the crow bar that amazingly appeared out of nowhere.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GOOOOOOO!!!!" He started to swing it at the door, furiously, still in his boxers.

"Never…"

All of a sudden the crowbar disappeared and so did the room, but the room only come back a second later as a candle lit bedroom.

"Hey! Where am I now?" Sasuke panicked seeing the large, black silk bedding covered bed.

"Why… you are in MY old room… nice huh?" Steve said.

"Y-y-y-y-y-your OLD r-r-r-room!! Oh… no…!" Sasuke whipped around and saw the now human bodied Steve.

To stall for time as he tried to find a way out he started asking questions as he tried backing up some more. "Sooo… You ARE Steve… right? And you are a guy right? What should I call you now, because Steve is a guys name and you look more a Stephanie or Veronica or even Fabio to me or something or the other… I'm just saying…" He rambled on looking around frantically as his back hit the wall, "Can I get out of here now?"

The question stopped **him** for a second as he thought over the questions. "Yes, yes, Fabio will do just fine and No you can't leave."

Sasuke screamed. "GYAAAAAAAH! …Wait…" He started to laugh. "Oh my GODDESS you sound so… GAY!!" He howled.

The guy grinned. "I am."

Sasuke choked on his laughter and started coughing. "Y-y-y-y-you ARE!? DAMNIT I have to learn keep my mouth shut!" He whispered to himself the last part.

'Oh my god what the fuck am I going to do now, I need to get out of here before he Does rape me, ah Damn that Neji and his fricken bets!'

His mental argument caught Fabio/Steve's attention.

The…Michael Jackson, Orochimaru, impersonator/wannabe… guy grinned.

"Seeing you think so hard is really starting to turn me on… especially if you're thinking about those friends of yours…"

Sasuke blushed bright red again and refrained from banging his head on the door. 'How'd he know!?'

He backed up quickly as Fabio came towards him. 'Think Sasuke! Think! You are and Uchiha! Not someone to be messed with!! You need to get out of here and fast!'

He shook his head hard, stepping a few feet away from the wall as he paced. "…Damn you Naruto, where are you…bastard… I'll kill him!" He thought frantically for a way out.

Fabio was about four feet away when he paused, hearing what Sasuke was muttering about. "…Naruto? Oh you mean that idiotic blonde you always hang out with? …Mmm…we can do something about that."

Sasuke watched with wide eyes as Fabio made the transformation jutsu hand signs.

-**POOF**-

Sasuke almost choked again as when the smoke cleared, in Fabio's place, stood an orange kimono covered blonde.

"W-what's going on?" Sasuke stuttered as he backed up and ran into another Naruto, who wrapped his arms around his waist, causing the blondes kimono to slip slightly and Sasuke's face to go red.

The Fabio, now Naruto, in front of him started to stalk towards him licking his lips as the Naruto behind him held him tighter to keep him from escaping. "Now Suke-chan…what to do with you…?"

**Sakunari:** *ROTFLHAO* Kyahahaha I couldn't resist attacking Suke-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kagura:** …**sweat drop**

**Sakunari: **…*wipes tears flowing freely* should I make Suke-chan regret going into the house even more??? *looks to Kagura with question mark above head*

**Kagura**: …you are so cruel to him….*shakes head*

**Sakunari:** *points* SHUT UP SICK LADY!!!

**Kagura:** …hey!!! I had tonsillitis and you know it! …besides…I'm not as mean to Sasuke as you are….

**Sakunari:** No but you are mean to Gaa-chan!

**Gaara:** *murderous aura*

**Kagura: **…*anger mark*

**Sakunari: **…heheh…*sweat drop* N e ways…let's get to those reviews people!

**Kagura and Gaara: ***conversing angrily* (Gaara) she does have a point you know… (Kagura) don't you start too…or I'll hide your teddy! AND NOT THE BEAR! …..stripper… (Gaara) *horrified* THAT'S A TRADE SECRET!!!

**Sakunari:** …*categorizes blackmail* oh happy days!


	3. Too bright

**Authors Notes**

**Sakunari: **OoO' OH MY GOD!! ^o^ We're finally at the third chapter! HURRAY!!

**Kagura:** *scratches head tiredly* Yeah I wonder how long will they keep us locked up down here…

**Sakunari:** *blinks looking at the bright white padded walls* Yeah… *nods and tries the arms of the straight jacket again* Why on earth am I the only one in this thing?

**Kagura:** Because you're crazy and I've already had my coffee for this morning so I won't need it until tonight…when THEY come…

**Sakunari: ***shivers* don't remind me… I hate coffee with a passion BUT WILL IT HURT THESE IDIOTS TO GIVE ME MY DOSE OF PIRATE'S TEA!?! *Bounces off the wall in an attempt to get the "idiots" attention* these people hate me… I swear!

**Kagura:** They don't hate you they think your too crazy for your own good like I think Sasuke's too gay for his own good, and the only reason they won't give you pirate's tea is because it makes you even more hyper and you start to bounce of the walls more and that's when they have to shoot you with a stun gun.

**Sakunari:** …oh is that the shocky thingy they use that tickles me?

**Kagura: ***Sweat drops* yeah…. Sure… whatever let's go with that. *Gets more coffee*

**Sakunari:** *starts randomly bouncing off the walls* these *bounce* People *bounce* Need *bounce-fall-jumps up-bounce* TO REVIEW!!! *Bounce-hits head on bed post* Owwwwwwwww…

**Kagura:** I TOLD you not to be bouncing in here! *Growls*

**Sakunari: ***gets in face and makes funny face at Kagura*** **Are you being Miss Grumpy Gills again? *Accented voice* All you need is a little bit of a hug!

**Kagura:** *Sweats drops again* how the hell are you supposed to give me hug? Your freaking tied up…oh let me guess you're gonna ask one of the guys to do that for you?

**Sakunari:** *grins evilly* they better or I won't cook my chocolate cakes for them ever again!

**Guards:** *run in and unties Sakunari begging for cake*

**Sakunari:** *hands over cake*

**Kagura:** … *slips out the door and steals insane asylum guard uniform*

**Guards:** *leave the room leaving the room open grinning eating ferociously*

**Sakunari:** *cheers* !!!! *blinks and looks around* Kagura?

**Room:** *echoes* "Kagura? Kagura? Kagura?"

**Sakunari:** *wide eyes* *screams* OMFG THE ROOM TALKS!!! KAGURAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! THIS ROOM IS HAUNTED WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!

**Kagura:** R&R!!! *Runs away laughing manically*

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**-With Gaara…finally X_X-**

As a young red head walked through the deserted halls of the old crippled house he began to wonder out loud.

"Hmmm I wonder what tastes better babies or chicken?" Gaara thought as he continued to walk slowly but surely through the halls.

"Eh there both the same… one's just spicier than the other," he answered himself.

As he continued to walk the hall suddenly started to rumble and trying to brace himself, the walls started to shifted into very funky multi-colored tie-dyed color.

Taking a look around after falling almost on his face he noticed the room was shining with many bright colors that made Gaara want to rock himself back and forth muttering some unusual words only gamers and nerds would probably figure out.

Once the room finally took its form the black clad red head started smile, much to his and the fans amazement. He looked around with interest instead trying to burn down the scary hippy looking room.

Just as he turned around with his arms folded over his chest the same manner that many have seen him in before, he let out a yelp as a huge puff of bad smelling smoke spread out across the room that was equipped with everything groovy known to the sixty's. Such as lava lamps, big bean bag chairs of funky colors, a bong, a disco ball, weed and pot plants all over the room,

"WAZZZAP MY NIGGA!!!!" shouted a mysterious voice into his face.

(The mysterious voice belonged to a weird looking hippy with a silver peace sign hanging around his neck and incredibly long hair pulled up into a puffy unkempt ponytail, and a tie dyed shirt underneath a brown velvet leather jacket with big optical glasses hanging on his nose. ((he's a regular hippy ^^))

"WAHHHH!!!!" Gaara screamed in surprise and lost his balance (amazingly) he fell back and landed in a fluffy neon green beanbag chair.

He looked at the ground shaking. '_I can't believe I didn't sense him!_' He coughed. '_Gah! This nasty smoke is starting to get to me! What do I do now!!!_ ?'

Gaara growled and looked at all the nauseating bright colors. "Where the FUCK is I, you over grown creep? You… are pissing… off… what is? …Ahhh… CRAP!!!" Gaara yelled and blaming the smoke, he proceeded to throw shiny thing into shiny thing as he lost his train of thought.

The hippy waved his arms frantically. "Dude, chill out! I'm a friend dude," said the hippy gaining a confused look from the redhead who stopped in his hissy fit. "Now listen to me dude! My name is Sunshine Dolly! But my people call me Sunny D so you can too!"

'………_shit………_' Gaara thought smacking his forehead. "I must REALLY be in hell now…"

"Dude you need to chill because if you don't, like… the **Man** is gonna bring you down like he did society man" Sunny D drawled taking a long puff from the joint that magically appeared between his fingers and blew the smoke into the air in rings.

Sunny D sighed happily. "Dude… that's some **good **Mary Jane." He looked at Gaara who was having a hard time concealing his curiosity at what was in Sunny D's fingers.

He sighed, "Here Have some it'll make all your wildest dreams come true dude" said Sunny D as he offered the joint to Gaara who stared and then finally letting his curiosity over whelm him, he grabbed the joint and taking a large drag, he blew out many multicolored smoke rings.

As the colors surrounded Gaara his once beautiful sea green eyes became dilated and a Kakashi-like look took over his face.

He coughed and then took another drag. "Man… that's some good shit" Gaara said staring around the room like he was going to fall over.

"Welcome to the Brotherhood, Panda-Man" said Sunny D as he draped an arm over Gaara's shoulder and took the joint out of his hands and another quick breath in and let the tobacco fill his lungs.

Gaara turned around still sucking on the joint and spotted some familiar faces in the back of the room and got up and plopped down beside them. "Yo! Itachi what's up dude!!!" He slapped said man on the back and looked at the weird looking man that sat next to him. "Yo who da' HELL are you snaky!"

"It's Orochimaru you peasant!" The snake looking man just stared at him creating a short, awkward silence as Itachi looked back and forth between them and snuck some of Gaara's joint in the process.

"!!!" The snake man drawled out.

Gaara blinked and looked around. "Damn ya nigga! That was one hell of a silence!"

Itachi nodded. "Yuppa! Now we's gots new gay vermin on the run… or on the floor whatever you guess it!"

"MY BROTHER'S AND SISTER'S HE HAS FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT!!!" Sunny D yelled as the room filled with more hippies that started dancing and taking long breaths in from the bong in the corner.

As the room filled Orochimaru took a long drag of the joint and looked at Gaara and Itachi like just realized something weird. "Dude!! I like, had a like, a realization!!! Ya all wanna hear it!?"

Itachi stared at him then sighed. "I think I'm going to regret this… but what?"

Gaara twitched as he saw Sunny D walk by with his hands on his head. "Dude! I think I have antlers!!!" Sunny started running around in circles. "I'm a deer I'm a Deer FEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Shaking his head he laughed as the old hippy fell over his own feet before he turned back to Orochimaru who had a sentimental, stoned look on his face. "Continue Snaky!" He grinned still laughing and took another puff.

Orochimaru held one finger up. "Wouldn't it be like TOALLY awesome if I was like, a ninja? NO! Like, a SNAKE ninja! Who could use his tongue to do all sorts of like, _creepy_ things to people with and could hiss and shit?!?" He grinned. "That would like, totally like… be wicked sweet! Right nigga man…? Nigga man?"

Itachi stared at him for a second. "You're stoned off your ass aren't you?!"

Orochimaru grinned again before handing Gaara his joint who puffed on it slowly. "Like…. Totally! Dude!" He got up and made his way over to Sunny D who was dancing some kind of chicken funk style of dance and joined in.

Itachi and Gaara covered their ears as the two started to dance weird and sing loudly. "WE ARE NOT GONNA BE CHICKEN'S WE DON'T WANNA BE YOUR FUCK'S… Duck's? Tacos? Eh… SO KISS OUR ASSES!!! HA-HA-HA-HA!!!"

… To put it kindly they had a weird night… glomping, odd poses and sleeping positions included… it was scarier then hell… but in the morning other than a few head aches scary bright colored clothes and new "friends", no one remembered a thing… except one…

**-With Naruto-**

We find our favorite ADHD blonde still trying to grab the beautiful orb of light.

"OW" Naruto was still attempting to grab the beautiful light that hung in front of him. He was drawn to it like Shino to a bug zapper.

(**Sakunari:** Very entertaining… especially when a person gets hurt ^o^)

(**Kagura**: Yeah like when people fall down the stairs like slinkies…basically useless but yet so funny to watch them fall. ^_^)

Naruto glared at the light bulb and went for it again. "OUCH!!!!!" He shook his hand and took a step away as the light bulb emitted a shower of pretty multicolored sparks.

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooh pertty colors…" Naruto watched the sparks as they danced and formed a type of television screen. "I-is that?!?!" He touched the TV light bulb thingamabob but the image of his friends and what they were doing started to disappear.

"NONONO!!!! Okay I get it! No touchy!!!!!" He screeched. "Now bring them back!! I WANT TO SPY!"

The television sparked then came back into view as he sat on his hands. "Neji!?!" Naruto exclaimed heading for the TV again but stopped himself as a bolt of electricity zapped the ground in front of him.

"Okay, okay…." Naruto grumbled and looked at the ceiling. "You know it would help if you quit toying with me and showed me the luxury that you owe me!" Another spark started to form a bolt of electricity.

Naruto screeched. "OKAY NEVER MIND NEVER MIND!!!" He jumped back as it fried the ground on which he had been standing on but seconds before.

Naruto walked foreword cautiously and held up his hands before sitting in front of the sparkly TV, "See? I'm going to sit on my hands!" He stated doing just so. "NOW SHOW ME SOME ACTION!!!!!!!"

He jumped as he heard the TV growl but sighed when it did nothing but bring the image of Neji into view.

Naruto smiled when a big bucket of buttered popcorn popped up in front of him.

He started to reach for it but then remembering that he promised to sit on his hands, he used his face to get to the popcorn. Eyes riveted to the screen he shouted around a mouthful "Let the blackmail… BEGIN!!!!"

**-With Neji… (Being watched by Naruto)-**

"Yes I know **you're** beautiful! But what about me?" Neji was gushing to his obviously blushing refection.

His refection waved a hand frantically. "No… **You're** beautiful! I'm just a reflection of you!"

This had all been going on for quite some time and both were getting frustrated because neither would get a straight answer (**Heheh…straight)** Since they had been doing this they were starting to get an audience.

Sighing, Neji's reflection finally turned to a tall dark man who wore tight pants and a vest. "Hi there Adam! Where's Steve? We have a question for you! Am I beautiful or is he? I know we both look the same but our own unique personalities must shine through!"

The tall black man looked over them carefully then just shrugged. "Nyh…" He muttered dismissing the question. "You both still look gay to me…"

Neji and his reflection gasped and faced him. "HOW RUDE!!!"

The black man looked at them. "What are you supposed to be? Miss Pussy or a wannabe Barbie Doll from a big ass yard sale for transvestites?" He sneered. (Sorry to all those out there who are these ^^' we mean absolutely no harm in saying this!!!)

They gasped again and looking at each other for a split second they faced the black man and put out their hand and stuck their forefinger up. They tipped their hips to the side with on hand resting on their raised hip. They stood there striking THE gay pose. "OH! No you didn't girlfriend!" They moved their hand and head simultaneously with that line.

With a battle yell Reflection Neji jumped out of the mirror and landed next to the real Neji. Grinning they attacked the poor helpless gay black man.

**-With Naruto- (Still watching T.V)**

"OH MY GOD THE SEE THROUGH NEJI IS GANGBANGING HIM!!!!" Naruto shouted around another mouthful of popcorn.

His eyes widened. "OMG!! ATOMIC WEDGIE!!!! RUN SOLID NEJI RUN!!!" He screeched and jumped up and down on his hands as the real Neji turned around and jumped at the black man instead.

"GO NEJI GO!!!!! Why is he taking his the guys shirt off? OH! TITTIE TWISTER!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He started to grow a little disturbed as see through Neji tripped the black man and sent the solid Neji on top of him in a very awkward position.

He changed the channel when see through started to laugh, and instead ended up only finding Gaara chain smoking with some weird multicolored hippies.

Naruto's eyes widened, "WTF!?!" Quickly changing the channel again he stared at the screen as a dark room with one familiar person in it appeared, but he had never seen the other before.

To Naruto it looked like Sasuke was getting mauled… or something close to it. "This…. is going to be good…." Naruto thought to himself as he stuffed his face into the bucket of popcorn yet again.

**-With Sasuke- (Being watched by Naruto)**

"Come here Sasuke-Chan I won't hurt you…much. It'll be over soon enough" Steve said with a coy grin spreading from cheek to cheek as he slowly approaching Sasuke.

"There's nowhere to go...I'm trapped like a rat" Sasuke thought as he backed into a corner his eyes still on Steve but glancing at the door any chance he got hoping that Steve would somehow in some way get distracted from Sasuke's god sexy body and look the other way.

"Trapped just like my own sex-toy…" Steve grinned again. "Which is what I suppose you are…"

"God If you love me at all… GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!" Sasuke groaned and ran a frantic hand through his hair and backed further towards the door.

"OH GOD! PLEASE DON'T STOP!!!! YOUR MAKING ME SO DAMN HOT!!!" Steve jeered arching his back slightly as he leaned closer to Sasuke who in all reality… snapped.

"OMG! OMG! OMG!!! PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME!!! I'M ALREADY BEING MOLESTED BY MY BROTHER AND SOME CREEPY OLD MAN ONLINE WHO WANTS ME FOR MY BODY!!!!" Sasuke cried lunging forward and falling down to his knees, the tears flowing from his eyes as he held Steve's feminine looking body for dear life begging him and the Uchiha gods that he hopefully wouldn't become a sexy emo booty for the obviously gay Steve. "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!"

For a split second, mother instincts kicked in and Steve leaned down and hugged the crying boy. "There, there Hun…. It's alright…" Sasuke sighed slightly trying to get a reign on his emotions.

Smirking as Sasuke did so, Steve hugged him a little harder. "Besides dear… you'll like it I promise…"

Steve laughed. "And I promise you it won't hurt… much!"

Sasuke's eyes widened even more as Steve held onto him within an unbreakable grasp. "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed frantically as Steve started to kiss at his neck. "I PROMISE TO ABIDE BY ALL TRAFFIC RULES AND EVEN HAVE LUNCH **DAILY **WITH NARUTO AT THE RAMEN SHOP AND I'LL EVEN PAY! I PROMISE TO GET MYSELF A CAT EVEN, SO I WON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ANYMORE! AND I'LL EVEN GIVE UP ON MY BROTHER BUT HE WON'T QUIT MOLESTING ME!! I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed frantically as he reached around and grabbed a nearby chair and swung in the direction of Steve's head.

Steve laughed harder as he easily ducked and bit into Sasuke's neck. "Don't be scared my little emo…. It'll be quick…. But I'm not so sure about painless…"

"NOO! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU EVIL EMO RAPER!!!! I LIKED YOU BETTER AS A CHEST!!!!"

_**SMASH!**_

**-Back to Naruto-**

"Oh no… *owlish eyes* TV GO DARK!" Naruto cried spitting popcorn at the evil zapping television. He jumped up and grabbed at the TV in which suddenly took a flying leap into the air out of Naruto's reach. "OH COME ON!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO HUH!?! RUN AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR SINGING IT'S RAINING MEN?!?" He sighed as the television just flickered and showed one word. "YES!?!"

Naruto went white then bright red. "Y-you know I w-was being s-sarcastic right?"

The TV flickered on. "Do it now nigga!!!" Naruto shook his head frantically and grabbed the half eaten bowl of popcorn off of the floor. He started to walk out of the room but just then the TV flickered off and disappeared as he got to the door.

"_Those who defy my divine logic shall be offered no mercy for it is my right!_" Naruto shrieked as a voice came out of nowhere but seemingly right beside him.

"What do you want from me??!!" Naruto gasped at the voice.

"_I want your soul,"_ said the unknown voice, "but I love my soul, you can't have it" Naruto said as he hugged himself. _"Then ye shall suffer the consequences vermin!" _growled the voice in anger.

Naruto screamed like a girl and ran off in a random direction hoping it would take him somewhere safe, which was right into a locked door.

**-With Gaara-**

The usually dressed in black, red head stumbled out of the hippies "main lobby" wearing creepy, bright, happy hippy colours that also included other 70's styled accessories. "YO SUNNY D! C YA My Nigga! I catch ya around!" said Gaara.

"I'M A DEER, I'M A DEER!!! FEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEE!!!!" said Sunny D as he still continued to prance around like a deer.

Walking down the hallway still slightly dizzy he tried desperately to remember what he had done… that was all he really remembered but was still a little fuzzy was a head of long, waist length brown hair coming out of nowhere and glomped him to the floor. He couldn't remember what happened after that.

**Later that evening**

As Gaara walked down the eerie deserted hallway he opened door after door trying to find a way out. As he opened the last door a sheet of brown hair momentarily blinded him as he was thrown back against the opposite wall across the hallway. "WTF!?!"

A girlie squeal emitted from the small form that was attached to his chest not letting go. "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG GAARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had SOOOOOOOOOO much fun last night!! Especially when you-!"

"WTF! HAKU?!? Why the hell are you on me and why the hell are you talking like this and why the hell wont you get off of me what the hell DID we do last night for I can't remember a godforsaken thing and how the hell did you get into this house and how come your not lost how the hell are you in only boxers and why won't you still not let me the fuck go?!?! AND YES I KNOW IM FUCKING RAMBLING BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S THE ONLY SANE THING TO DO AT A TIME LIKE THIS!! And now I'm getting a fucking head ache thanks to all of your yelling!" He gulped for air rapidly glaring at the young boy that was still clinging to his chest sniffing slightly.

Haku just stared at him sniffling slightly before grinning a "Naruto" grin. "Because I want to be, because I like to talk like this, I want to cuddle, I'm not telling you, you have to find out later, I was invited, I just got up, and I still want to cuddle with my smexy Panda-man! And I wasn't the one yelling Hun, you were!" He replied in order. Grinning slyly, he got up and grabbed Gaara's hand dragging him into his room. "Now let's find you a cure for that headache of yours!"

* * *

**Authors Analysis**

**Kagura: ^ _ ~ **! THAT WAS AWESOME!! That was one HELL of a long ass chapter!** ***In doggy pajamas*** **

**Sakunari: =^ - ^= ***In kitty pajamas*** **Yup! And even though some of it might not make sense, it's one of our best yet I hope to think!

**Kagura:** well aren't you glad you're out of that cell now?

**Sakunari:** yeah after you finally finished the chapter…*grumbles under breath*

**Kagura:** HEY!! I came back and let you out didn't I! 

**Sakunari: **Yeah!! After you caused so many car crashes, got pulled over so many times, went home slept for a week, got arrested, then came back and got me so I could take the fall for YOU!!!

**Kagura:** …*Watery puppy dog stare* I…came…back… didn't I…?

**Sakunari:** I hate you so bad…

**Kagura:** I know you love me…^_^ okay fine how about this you can tell THEM your Taco theory…*points to readers*

**Sakunari:** Nahh! I'm not really in the mood…*shrugs shoulders and looks away*

**Kagura:** well fine have it your way then I'll go tell Sasuke's he's gay!! *Stomps away* and I won't be drawing anymore SMUT for you!!!!

**Sakunari**: …*Thinking*… WAIT COME BACK I'LL TELL THEM!! I'LL TELL EM!!! - *Runs after her looking for dirty smut*

**Kagura:** sorry I'm not REALLY in the mood. *stalks away arms folded*

**Gaara: **Kagura draws smut?! *Shocked*

**Sasuke:** *escaped from Kagura's clutches* From what I hear it's the really dirty kind of smut like Yuri and Yaoi…but mostly Yaoi…

**Naruto:** COOOOL!!!! *Cheers*

**Sasuke:** between all four of us…*sweat drops*

**Gaara:** *sweat drops*

**Naruto: **…COOOL!!

**Gaara: **R&R…idiots…*watches Sasuke choke Naruto*****

* * *

(Chapter 4 will be out when we feel like writing it…which we haven't even done yet… not that you need to know that…C YA!)

* * *

**WE'RE NOT CRAZY!!!… Just mentally disturbed……..….. Bye…**


End file.
